i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
