I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
