just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
