Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
