is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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