Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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