I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
