in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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