If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
