Soap is not a condiment
He felt like a one man threesome
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
