We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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