Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
4 words: hood of his car
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
