Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
