I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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