I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
