I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
