Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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