I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize