TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
