Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
