If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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