found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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