yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
