Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
