I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
