She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
