If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
True strength comes from lack of pants
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