hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
