so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
