Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
being pregnant is like rehab
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
