areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
