I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
