My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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