The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
