you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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