She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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