a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
