I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
