i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Randomize
