So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
