maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
