I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
