Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
