I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize