all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
