Nicole vs. Life
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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