Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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