What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
