Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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