i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
It's never too late to be topless.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
