i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
