i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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