He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
