hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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