She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
