If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
