Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
