I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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