let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
