That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
high people should be assigned attendants
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
