it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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