They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
