there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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