yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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