She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
