Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
