Quick, to the slutcave!
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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